제가 요즘 영어 자기 소개를 준비중인데요. 나름 써봤는데 문장이 너무 단조롭네요. 또 주어의 중복, 'I' 의 반복이랄까

그런점으로 인해서 문장이 매끄럽게 이어지지가 않네요.

혹시 문법적인 부분이나 어색한 문장이 있으면 지적해주시고요. 의미가 전달되지 않는 난해한 문장도 좀 집어주세요.

그리고 마지막에 한글로 쓴 부분은 아무리 생각해도 정확한 문장이 떠오르지 않네요.

우월한 pgr분들 부탁드리겠습니다.

ps. 많이 허접합니다. 유유~

My Strength is to have had a lot of experience in many fields.

First, I have had extensive customer service experience including customers needs and request since I was in highschool and university. Due to that experience, I became an energetic and active individual who takes direction well. That also taught me how important enthusiasm is and to get along with people is.

Secondly, as my major was in international trade and second major was distribution, through many activities in the fields, I realized that international trade, forwarding, logistics, something like that, was very attractive work. I have made my effort to be a great worker in the fields.

My final goal is to be a generalist, not just a specialist, so I have been working in XXX that is XXX(금융사) as an intern because my weakness was in stock, finance as a international trade student. I believe that will help me achieve my goal in the future.

Even though I have had many experiences and made an effort, I need to develop skill in the field and learn more knowledge. But 하지만 제가 가진 열정과 성실함으로 부족한 부분을 채워나갈 것을 약속드리겠습니다. I am ready to do my best and have a lot of confidence to make XXX best global logistics company.